Regret

Each week in an email letter I send to my children and siblings I offer a $5 gift card to the winner of a game we play called, “HiveMind.” I won’t go into the details of the game, but usually 10 to 12 Bakers compete for the gift card. The game has outgrown just my family. Others have heard about it and asked if they could be part of the “Hive” and join in the fun. After checking with the brain trust, we all agreed that the more, the merrier. 

The catch is there is an entry fee in order to play. No entry fee; no gift card. The entry fee is answering a reflection question that I pose each week. My goal is to get my scattered family talking to one another. HiveMind is just the tool. Samples of reflection prompts include the following:

• Tell us about a time you were scared.
• What was your favorite job? What’s your dream job?
• Have you ever felt lonely? Tell us about that time. 
• If you could have a conversation with any historical figure, who would it be and what would you talk about?
• How did you vote in the last election? Why?  [Just kidding. I’d never go down that road with my family.]

One week, I asked them if they had any regrets about major decisions they’ve made in life. The answers revealed missed opportunities, poor choices, and immature behavior.

• “I wish I hadn’t married my first husband.”
• “I should have worked harder in school.”
• “If only I had started saving money earlier in my life.”
• “I wasted too many years on selfish things and destructive habits.”
• “I settled for a nursing career; I could have been a doctor.”

How would you answer that question? Do you have regrets? If you could have a do-over, what would you do differently? 

Regrets usually reveal a mistake we’ve made. Sometimes regrets are a result of sins we’ve committed. Other times regrets acknowledge that a right turn would have resulted in a better path than the left turn we chose. 

I was quite surprised when I read something the other day. It’s a passage from I Samuel 15. God is speaking to the prophet Samuel and he’s about to give him instructions to go looking for a new king. God says to Samuel, “I regret that I have made Saul king. He has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions.”

Wait a minute. God regrets that he made Saul king? Is God admitting a mistake? Is He admitting poor judgment? Does He want a do-over?

My pastor suggested I check out alternate translations. Perhaps there is a better word than regret. I checked 32 different translations. Twenty of them used the word regret. In a few others, God said he was sorry he made Saul king. Two translations used the word repent. “It repenteth me that I made Saul king,” didn’t exactly clear things up. One translation that came the closest to my understanding of an omniscient God said, “It grieves me that I made Saul king.”

I don’t feel qualified to argue with Bible translators. I don’t know Greek or Hebrew and don’t plan on enrolling in a course. (No regrets.) But from my years of Bible reading, Sunday School, listening to sermons and developing a picture of the God of the universe, I’ve come to a few conclusions. I don’t believe God makes mistakes. He is truly holy, so committing a sin is certainly ruled out. My image of God never has Him saying, or even thinking, “Rats, I wish I could do that over.” 

I will leave it to the Bible scholars to determine the best way to interpret and understand that verse. I do know this – the person in that story I do not want to be is Saul. Whether God regrets, repents, or is grieved by making Saul king, the fact is, Saul messed up. Saul has disappointed God. I believe God might be a bit angry. Nope. I don’t want to be Saul. 

I don’t ever want to disappoint God. I don’t want Him to regret that he made me a grandfather, or father, or husband; I don’t want my role of teacher, or coach, or school administrator to grieve him. I certainly don’t want God saying, “I repent that I allowed you to retire.” I do not want to be Saul. To prevent that from happening, I only have to read further in I Samuel 15 where Saul hears these words from God, “The Lord does not delight in burnt offerings or sacrifices as much as in obeying His voice. To obey is better than sacrifice. To heed is better than the fat of rams. Rebellion is sin. Arrogance is evil. You have rejected the word of the Lord; He has rejected you as king.” 

See what I mean? Who wants to be Saul? Not me. I might choose to work part-time. I might take up pickleball. I might pick up more non-fiction and I might start walking each morning. I might be happy with those decisions or I might regret them. Regardless of my choices, I must choose love first. I must choose obedience. If I do, God will have no regrets.